Just a Thought

A Shift

A shift.

This morning- I felt a shift.

FINALLY.

Because for the past few months, I’ve been stuck. Trapped in place.

Exhausted— even after an 8-hour sleep
Unfocused— very distracted or zoning out while time passes
Isolated— dear friends and family who have had to wait patiently for me to reconnect because I have not been in an emotional space or had the energy for a conversation (even when I crave the connection- such a strange feeling)- and then, the guilt I feel for not connecting is a whole other layer of isolation
Emotional— unregulated in that I could be feeling like I am holding in my breath and emotions, and then 2 minutes later crying “out of nowhere”
Overwhelmed— all the client and household projects which need attention and have been getting little to none of my time
Sedentary— moving to complete tasks that absolutely need to done, but taking no extra effort to exercise or stretch –so now I am beginning to feel like the Tin Man from the Wizard of Oz

And then pile on the grief of losing Norman the cat, the worry of a missing colony cat, the challenges and pain many I love are going through right now, 9/11 anniversary, entrepreneurial pressures and the general state of the world…

But this morning- I feel different.

Things are changing and shifting all around me in the lives of people I love, but there was nothing that screamed out— THIS IS THE THING! And yet, here I am.

Feeling hopeful, motivated, grateful, emotional and positively charged.

Finally sat down in front of my computer and finished thanking each person who sent an outpouring of love on social media when Norman died 6 weeks ago. So very grateful to my community for essentially giving me a huge virtual hug!
Contacted a few people on my “Advisory Council” to ask for help in a few areas- because I have been isolating and procrastinating. There are gifted people who can and will definitely help me if I ask.
Calmly and steadily worked through a plan for someone who needed a “thought-partner”
Reached out to say I love you to a group of people who are having a particularly challenging day
Organized the work that needs to get done over the next few days in an actionable and realistic list- finally!
Took a little spiritual time to recenter myself. I have been pushing past that grounding practice for MONTHS. My journal and favorite inspirational books literally have dust on them (oh, because I have not been doing housework either). I was “too busy”. (umm… too busy zoning out and feeling exhausted?)

I share all this as a bit of an affirmation to myself. It is always more real when I see it in writing. A reminder for Future Bryn (I love her) that once again one of my guiding principles for life really works.

Don’t Quit Before The Miracle

I am watching it happen all around me to people I love and for clients every day.

It works for me, too. The “stuck” feeling ended. I just had to go THROUGH it all and have faith.

Perhaps this might be helpful to you as well.

NOW

NOW.

NOW has never been my forte.

I am so much more likely to CONSIDER it, ANALYZE it, PROCRASTINATE about it, DISCUSS it with people, COMPARE it to other options, ADD it to my endless and unrealistic to do list and SCHEDULE it for another day.

“IT” could be anything from cleaning my house to purging a drawer to making a phone call to reading a book I’ll surely love to taking up a new hobby to “getting healthy” to finishing a client project. Anything and everything falls into the “IT” category.

So, I decided to experiment a little. Live in the NOW. Get an idea and take a baby step NOW. Not completely sideline what I am doing for something else like a ping pong ball of “unproductivity”. But just a little step the next time I have a free moment.

And after 3 days of these baby steps, is it possible I can already see forward movement in a few areas?

VERY COOL!

In the spirit of NOW, I wanted to take this little step and tell everyone about this shift because maybe you want to try it also.

Lessons from the Groundhog

When I reference Groundhog Day, I can’t help but think of that hysterical 1993 movie starring Bill Murray and Andie MacDowell. If you have never seen it (although I would question where you’ve been!), Bill Murray’s character experiences the same Groundhog Day over and over again. Each time the day starts again, he adjusts based on what he knows will happen so he can get it “just right”.

And then in 2017, Andy Karl brilliantly led the Broadway musical adaptation straight to a Tony nomination for Best Lead Actor in a Musical.

This movie and Broadway show has me reflecting on two lessons I have learned over the years that look a lot like this Bill Murray/Andy Karl character’s experience:

FIRST: My days of living the Groundhog Day life in my career and business are over.

I learned early in my corporate career to save everything- every file, every document and every email trail- because invariably the senior leadership team would reposition an old project or initiative as a brand new, enterprise-wide opportunity in which I could be put in charge. Common practice was to pull out those saved files, “re-label” them and start over again. It got so bad in 2002 that I bought my entire team a copy of the movie! (VHS of course)
Today as an entrepreneur everything is new -every day. No reusing ideas for me. Definitely tapping into to old ideas that have expanded or evolved- but not that horrible “been here already feeling”. It is all fresh and exciting. No more slapping another name or spin on an initiative and calling it new! Phew.
Even better, on a daily basis I am in a position to inspire career clients (who are mostly in large, bureaucratic organizations) to weather those Groundhog Day moments (pun intended -smile)

SECOND: The Universe will continue to put similar people, situations and opportunities in my path until I learn the lesson I am here to learn.

It is often equal parts frustrating and hysterical. Like the movie Groundhog Day, I just keep coming back to the scenario over and over again, adjusted a bit each time, until I make the major shift.
Most recently it has been a trust issue I have been forced to pay attention to— because the trust challenges came to me through a few friendships, a big client and a financial obstacle. 1-2-3-Right in my face. Ugly. A chance for me to stop feeling like Bill Murray and to change it forever.

Where is that happening in YOUR life?

Monday Morning Lessons from Wonder Cat

5 a.m. Monday morning. Curled up in bed. Super comfy.

Listening to NYC waking up. Just quietly thinking about the fabulous week I had and the very busy work week I have ahead when–

... flying through the air

… Wonder Cat leaps from the dresser to the desk

… sliding across like Tom Cruise in Risky Business

… bringing everything with him on his dismount

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Lesson 1: Do not leave any unfinished coffee on your desk at night EVER AGAIN

Lesson 2: If you are going to leave coffee on your desk, it should be your current favorite flavored coffee (mine is coconut) so that all of your work documents and office supplies smell like that favorite coffee flavor for days to come

Lesson 3: Name your cat with a name that rhymes with your favorite expletive, so when you scream it in the wee hours of the morning, he will think you are simply calling him loudly or perhaps cheering him on in his chosen Olympic sport of Feline Furniture Jumping.

Lesson 4: On Monday morning before the sun comes up, always look for those opportunities to fully clean your desk, hang your blotter to dry, rearrange your desk items, attempt to save your damp paperwork and pray that your soggy computer is in working order.

Lesson 5: Why did I ever get away from the habit of clearing my desk each night? Closing my computer. Putting extraneous items in their special place. You better believe that I will be going back to that habit moving forward. My guess is that remembering to clear off my desk is far easier than training a cat!

Lesson 6: If you have a pet, do not for one moment believe that you run your own home.

#ChucktheWonderCat

I’m Not Waiting Any Longer

One of the outcomes of this crazy time we have been living in is my visceral need to RELEASE!

It is like a calling. A voice telling to me to release STUFF– but, also to release OLD HABITS and OUTDATED BELIEFS that no longer serve me. All of these cluttered things and ways of thinking are holding me back from expansion. They are holding me back from joy. So…

I am reading the books I’ve been “saving” to read on vacation (I would need to be permanently on vacation to finish them all)
I am pulling out the bazillion skeins of yarn stored in my closet and creating some new, imperfect projects (rather than saving it all for some special project that never gets realized)
I am sorting through my hall closet to purge items I never use and embrace what is trapped in a back corner (I know there are things I have not even touched since I moved to this apartment almost a decade ago)
I am using all the fancy paper napkins that I saved for literally a decade for that special party I was going to throw (and never did)
I am writing notes to friends on the reams of stationary and cards I have been saving for just that perfect occasion (and then would buy more in the process as the “special” stationary went unused)
I am pulling out photos of family and friends to put in frames around my home and on the screensaver of my Apple TV. My homes have only had a handful of photos displayed for almost THIRTY YEARS (instead of waiting for the perfect frames and perfect configuration)
I am writing in the pretty notebooks that I saved for just the right thoughts (umm… aren’t all my thoughts important?- ha)
I began enjoying my morning coffee from the prettiest coffee mugs– from the hodge-podge collection gifted to me by a variety of fabulous women in my life (I smile and connect with that particular woman every time I sip from “her”)
I am eating dinner on the beloved (and chipped) set of dishes that don’t match a single thing in my house – dishes when put together as a set create an image of Seurat’s painting A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte (my absolute favorite piece of art!)

And I reconfigured and reorganized all the art on my walls. Even bought myself a few new pieces that utterly delight me. One of the best things I have done- FOR ME- is to place framed prints and original artwork featuring SNOW all around my house. I can always see snow! (ohhh- if you know me, you know that snow is one my my very favorite things!)

Two of the pieces of original art are especially significant. One from a West Coast artist and another from a talented friend in NYC. Both paintings made me cry when I saw them displayed. I bought them for myself around the same time– over 18 years ago–when I was in a truly miserable point in my marriage– and the same fate befell them both. They were shoved into storage until I left that marriage. In my first “single” home after my marriage ended, I hung them proudly.

Yet somehow in my current apartment, they were sidelined again. Until this week when they joined the collection of “snow art” decorating my walls and inspiring me every day!

What are you “waiting” to use in your life?

What “perfect circumstances” is it time to abandon?